the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
bring money and cleavage
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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