i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
