This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
