uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
