oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will be naked everywhere
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
