Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
