I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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