I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
