i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's always time for handjobs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
