The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to make out with him forever
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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