she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
