..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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