mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
