i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
