Screwed.edu
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
whose ass print is on the piano?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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