hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
