check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
