girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
