he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
