the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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