I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
