I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
