I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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