Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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