idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
