We're like a lot better than the average bears
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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