I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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