and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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