Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
