I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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