dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
