once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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