your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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