dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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