Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
