Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
