Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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