walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
