apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
