I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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