we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
