dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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