i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
