whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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