So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
