No, drunk sperm still make babies.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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