Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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