You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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