Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
