She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize