So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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