Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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