WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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