Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
