Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize