I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
