Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
