I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
