Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
