I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
