haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
