I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
