marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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