We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
