Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
