I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
