Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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