I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
