When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
