last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
