If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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